Dirty Details of Cancer

50 things this cancer patient wants all the cancer FAKERS to know…

For all the times I couldn’t play with my boys because I was too sick.

For all the times I’ve cried because I wondered if this would be the last birthday, holiday, ‘first’ or ‘last’ that I would witness as a mom.

For all the times I couldn’t make dinner, or any other household chores because I’ve been battling what you FAKED, for 6 years.

For all the extra beats my heart has to make because chemo caused a hole in my heart.

For all the scars left on my body, so happy yours miraculously disappeared.

For all the surgeries I’ve made it through. That would be 12. Like you are counting.

For all the times we literally couldn’t buy groceries because St. Luke’s was garnishing my husbands paycheck direct from the employer to pay for my cancer treatment.

For all the times people say “they can’t do that, that has to be illegal.” Well they do!

For all the sheer panic attacks.

For all the times I had to take my babies with me to treatment.

For all the times I was made to feel like I was bothering others because I brought my children along with me to treatment.

For all the times I had to pull over while driving, to throw up from treatment, with my kids in the car.

For all the trips to the ER, dealing with whatever 5 year old they just made a doctor.

For all the nights I’ve had to bear through the pain until we could take the boys to school or find child care, so I could go to the ER in the morning.

For all the amazing nurses I’ve met, who befriended me and loved me.

For all the doctors who genuinely want me to beat this.

For all the mean nurses and doctors that I’ve met, who wouldn’t listen to me and caused me more damage.

For all the times I was told “no” when I asked that they use my port, instead of my arm because my veins are all dried up.

For all the chemo treatments that made me blind, grey-faced sick, and in more pain than anyone can imagine.

For all the pounds gained from steroids.

For all the times I felt unwanted because I looked like a cancer patient.

sickcancer
Unbelievable what you will find when you search “cancer”.

For all the times a nurse missed my port and poked my chest instead.

For all the radiation treatments that I puked after, was severely burned from and had 7 surgeries to correct (88 treatments on 4 places).

For all the CT scans, MRI’s, x-rays, PET’s and other scans and tests I have gone through so far.

For all the times I was denied treatment because I couldn’t afford it OR because I couldn’t afford to get the living will they require to treat a stage 4 cancer patient.

For all the doctors offices I’ve been sent to, only to be sent away because they don’t take my health insurance.

For all the flights to MD Anderson.

For all the miles driven to  six years worth of treatment.

For all the financial expenses cancer entails.

For all the emotional expenses cancer entails.

For all the medical bills I can’t pay.

For all the marital heartache on my husband and myself.

For all the times my husband has cried.

For all the prayers.

For all my tears.

For all my boys’ tears.

For all the times I’ve wished I knew, if tomorrow would come.

For all the times I’ve wondered if I would see my boys grow up.

For all the fighters who lost theirs lives over what you FAKED.

For all the friends I’ve lost because I was no longer of use to them, because they get to continue to live the life they wanted.

For all the years my son was bullied at school because his mom is sick. They “feel sorry for him.”

For all the ways I have had to raise money all by myself while trying to live with cancer and be a mom.

For all the fundraisers I did on my own.

For all the fundraisers my friends have done for my family.

For all the energy this gives me to think about how you have jaded people so badly that they don’t believe me when I say I am sick.

For all the times I have cried out from bone pain in my spine, skull and bones.

For all the people who continually make me prove I am ill because of people like you.

For all the faith I’ve lost in humanity.

For all the times I have felt so alone and too petrified to even speak.

For all the times I’ve been asked how long I have left.

For all the sleepless and painful nights.

For all the times I’ve felt guilty about being sick, and those affected.

For all the lives I had to change to fight and live this cancer life that you faked.

For all the years that I ACTUALLY lived with this hellacious disease. 6 years in case you wondered.

For all the times I never wished this awful disease on a soul, I do wish it on you all now.

For all the times my family and I needed the hundreds of thousands of dollars, that you FAKED needing.

For all the people who have helped me along my journey.
For all the friends and family members of the FAKERS.

For all the REAL cancer fighters and for all these times you FAKED fighting… you need help and I hope you seek it.

moralstrength

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